The Surprised Cow and other business and children's stories

 

Kindle-only version

About this book

 WE all have faced those moments when someone says “Give a speech” at a dinner party or function, or even at a special moment in life when you want to cheer up the audience. It could just be that short little tale that brings laughter and smiles. Or maybe it’s a child, precious to you and other loved ones, and you want to create a bond in that special way: “I want to tell you a funny story.”

So here are some creative options from me to you; some of these came from one of my autobiographies in which I cherished the memory of my mother’s mother, Geraldine. In her honor, I add to the collection of possibilities that a grandchild—or a gathering of colleagues and associates in an organized structure of business--could hear from someone special like you, the reader.

Again, there’s nothing finer than making an audience whoop with laughter and being thankful that you had a story in your hands that you could bring forward for some fun.

The best part is that these are true!

Here are 11 little tales. It’s part of the reason to share them. Thanks for being part of the exchange.

 Table of Contents

 

1.  The Surprised Cow; p.4

2.  The Fish with Two Tails (and no head); p. 6

3.  The Boy Bird who laid an Egg & The Bird that Meowed; p. 8

4.  The Slippery Eel; p. 10

5.  The Pig’s Tail (and the Goat’s Neck); p. 13

6.  The Long Island Duckling; p. 15

7.  The Chicken Tractor; p. 17

8.  Mr. Dooley (the woolly monkey), the guinea pigs, the duck, and others; p. 19

9.  A Mountain Goat or Horseshoes: take your pick; p. 21

10.              How the Platypus got its…you-name-it parts; p. 22

11.              What do dragons eat? You would be surprised; p. 48

12.              All my books on Amazon.com; p. 56-57

13.              About the Author; p. 58

 The Surprised Cow

(This is for a business audience)

 

(Woke up this morning and reminded myself to be thankful that all is as well as possible--and then I remembered the cow.)

The cow? What cow? Why a cow?

 Because...I could have been a farmer with a cow.

Why a farmer with a cow? What has that got to do with being thankful? You should ask the cow--if it could talk. Because it would tell you how this (Scottish) farmer had a cow with an intestinal blockage that created a pocket of flatulent gas that couldn't be released.

 So the farmer called a veterinarian--who, after diagnosing the condition, made an effort to release the gas blockage by--I'm not kidding--putting a PVC pipe through the animal's rectum.

 I'm NOT a large-animal vet, but I spoke to one recently, and she confirmed it. (The conversation happened on NYE, so she might have said anything, but I know her better as a qualified professional.) So, after inserting the pipe, the vet waited--and after the animal did not release the gas, the doctor decided to light a match at the end.

 Now THAT was a Texas Firecracker if ever there was one. The farmer and the vet staggered out of the wreckage of the barn, and so did the cow--with the PVC pipe still in its behind.

 And most likely, with a VERY puzzled and desperate look in its eyes that said, "Hey, guys. Would you PLEASE take this thing out of my rear end?!?" True story.